you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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