we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
