definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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