that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
