the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
