Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
