Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
