I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
