I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
