i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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