I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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