Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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