I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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