is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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