Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
