I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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