I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
