just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
