What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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