think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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