the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
