You smell like a Billy Joel song
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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