I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What a dumb baby whore.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
