I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
