dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
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I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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