we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Farmville is her only friend.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
