She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
