Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
