between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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