woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
