yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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