Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
