Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
where are you?
Hypothermia
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
