I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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