Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
