I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
