And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
