we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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