Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I supernannyed him into submission
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
