Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize