she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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