Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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