if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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