The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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