I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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