you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
