there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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