i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
