I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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