The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
