I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
