she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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