somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
