I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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