I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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