Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
