from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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