what day is it and did you see me today?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just pee around me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
