so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
