people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
