Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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