i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
